I don't even know what I'm doing...

Well... new school year gave me just another, bigger kind of lazyness. If I'll live with it even few months more I'm not gonna pass the year. And maybe writing in english is a some kind of riot in myself. In fact, I didn't want to write anythimg else here. I canceled the last post, it was too emotional... Nobody won't read it, so what's the matter... Hmm, maybe I'm trying to hide myself from... myself? So... I wanted to end witing here. But I'm back. Again. It's a bit scar for me, it's like a big fuckin' hole in my head, I can't bury it... You know what I mean? I don't really care. Nothing has changed. I still don't know what I'm doing in the society, I can't find better point of view. But maybe it's better for me? When everything is changing, I can change me to. With another way. But it's still change, right?
I don't even know what I've been talking about. Not important too. Nothing in my life is. I'm not another sick of myself teenager. I don't want to be. Who knows what I'm gonna be.. I don't want to be sad. But I am. Everybody is. We're happy being alone, or living between another lost ghosts. But this kind of happiness is the same feeling as sadness. It's changing, like people, like nature. EVERYTHING. I've been talknig about yhis changes in one of the first posts... I thin so. But then it was more positive. I don't want to say that, now I'm another person. Probably I'm talking like that in because of my mood, something like that. It's not a problem. For nobody. Nobody will care, so I won't too.
I'm thinking about these few words which I wrote. Too much 'myself' in one text. Shall I die?
                                                                       
                                                                        ***
A teraz zacznie się typowo polsko-szeleszcząca plątanina. Krótka, mam nadzieję.
Tak, jestem bardzo leniwa. Ale internetowi mogę sie bezkarnie żalić do woli, a to dla mnie dostateczny powod, żeby spróbować znowu się uaktywnić.
Tak inaczej. Muzyka na górze, bo nie umiem jej niżej w wersji mobilnej przesunąć.

Właśnie,jakoś w sierpniu byłam święcie przekonana, że wracam z drugim blogiem. Komputer odmawiając mi współpracy był innego zdania... nic nie obiecuje, może coś się tam jeszcze kiedyś pojawi...