Let's stay in the shadow play

I did everything what I have to. But there's still some kind of failure. I don't know what is it. I'm too young to know how to live, too experienced to believe in common good, too dumb to not follow kindness. Dumb? Or maybe just happy.Nevermind, thoughts again. I'm trying to forget, about everything. I'm trying to clean my mind. It's very hard, you know... Someday I won't understand everthing I have done. So maybe I should just stay in the moment. Don't change the way of life. It's very hard to believe in person who you are. Just me, my mind, some music to think of. Nothing more.To close yourself. Probably it isn't a good solution. And maybe the only one... Some of  my logic. We're in the shadow play. And let it be.

I'm writing the future...

...
I don't know what to write here.
It's hard to write about something, when you haven't got a 'thing'. But I got 'some' :)
I'm thinkinkig of the Future. It's hard to find yourself in the moment. I don't know what to do with myself NOW. What will be for few years?! Everything is hard. I'm trying to learn from mistakes. But I'm onlly human. I'll make next mistakes. And next. And next. Nobody's fault but mine...
It's probably the end of my thoughts  For today. I know that it's very short post, but I really don't know what to write here. But I really would. I like writing. I like every way of self-expression. I prefer wirting on the paper, but... Nevermind. I'll better write a diary of a stupid teenager.

*Applause*

Soo crazy day. I learned from people from my class that The Doors, didn't play psychodelic rock. They played shit. I learned that Stairway to Heaven is song only for old hippies too. Applause for them!
Why it happens? I was a teacher on music lesson today, we were talking about Rock and Roll. My class really loves it.
Oh, it's okay, I get a good grades, it's allright. But I'd like to learn them something. They won't be like me, I don't want it. Just a little respect. To artists. To art. They can't pretend, that we don't like the same music, but we're a group. I really like this people but... Sometimes it's hard to be loveable to everyone. They won't understand me, I won't understand them. It's easy. Maybe not. Well, Nevermind.

...And what's behind the window?

Spring. It's finally Spring. Sun is shining, it's giving me good mood.  I don't know why I'm writing this now. Everybody has a window. Maybe I should go out... There's a lot of people outside. Lately I can't stand a large amount of people. Sometimes I'm like a recluse, but everybody needs sometimes a human contact..
Yeah, again my thoughts. I don't like it. I don't know what to write, so I'm writing something what is probably stupid. Maybe not. Rather yes.
Back in the theme. Sun is shining. I'm glad but I miss the days like first days of Spring. Now it's like Summer. I'm just waiting for the rain.
I like rain. Rain is very detersive. I'm thinking better in rain...

I'm a pirate.

I'm trying to sleep, but I can't. It's terrible. Maybe if I haven't to wake up early tomorrow- ok. But I have. It's a long story...
So I'll write something about my day. Today my friend had a birthday party. We went with our other friends to a bowling center. It was a nice day, but it was one of the times when I'm thinking about people. Of my generation. For my friends the most importan thing was "What if won't have something to be proud of on Facebook?". The biggest calamity of their life. It's sad. Maybe I'm just like them. Maybe I will be thinking things like this all the time. And maybe not...

Today I thought that I'm a pirate. I don't know why. Pirates are cool. I was wearing black piece of paper on my eye. It's a very pirate thing... Oh and I thought that I'm Mick Jagger too. And also arab. Nevermind.
It was a very interesting day...

Nevermind.

This post shoud be publicated on 5.04, but I haven't got time this evenig. In fact, it makes no diffrence, it's still actuall...
So, on Friday, my mum told me something:
"Hmm, I'll tell you something. Someday I was driving under the viaduct. I had a bad day from the beginning. Then your father turned on the radio. From there we learned that Kurt Cobain is dead. We couldn't believe. It was a big shock. It was 19 years ago, you know?
I knew. It'll be a opinion dedicated to my friend. Cobain was a some kind of genius. You could dislike his music but Nirvana was an important part of 90's music. He was an addict, but a good person too. He was a part of "revolution". "It's better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you're not."
I didn't want the way it sounded. Some of empty words. But sometimes it's needed...
Just come as you are.

Live forever

There's a light. It's not a light like Sun or light of a lamp. I can feel the light and it's like light of hope. I don't know what is it. I don't need a hope. Not this moment. I just want something what can... stay? Everything is changing. But's such the life. Can I do something what will live forever? No. It's obvious. Life won't wait. For me. For anybody. This is the time when I can exist. "Time to Exist" is not easy, not for anybody. It's hard to do the things which we don't own. Every moment our lives is a part of us. Sometimes we can't find this part. Learnig from mistakes.We're forgetting about it. We're forgetting the moments. I forgot.
Yeah, I know that my thoughts are confused, but that's my mood... Maybe it's indeed fault of the weather. It's hard to think reasonably when you can't see... Light?

Post with nothing inside

It's a bad time. Time of chemistry. This isn't my favourite subject, but I have to make a project. About the Ozon Hole. I don't know many holes but the Ozon one is my favourite...
Yesterday I was sleeping in house of my friend. We were searching some information about Hole. It's weird-there's no informations like "The Ozon Hole is very important in our lives, because...",there are only opinion of Very Smart Scientist. I can't understant it...
Now I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm hungry. I'm trying to draw something...But I can't draw. Muahahahaha^^
It's just simply day, maybe I'll try to do my homework. Later. Hmm, But this is my homework... There's always something...
Today in school I laughed all the time.. I know that this sentence was at least stupid, but I had to write somethning about my day... But I didn't do anything interesting- I haven't got any topic to write of...
I don't like moments like this. It's like... I don't know what, but it's very unpleasent...

...Because I'm sittin' on top of the world.

Allright. I had to write 6 posts here. This is the 6th. Probably I will write something more, but for now it's last part of my homework :3
I'm sitting on my bed (as always, but nevermind). I'm thinking about my life. It's not complicated, but... Oh, it's just the life of person like everyone. I just wanna do something special. To be the person who I'm not? Impossible. I hope.
It's some kind of my logic. My logic is very specific. Nevermind, it'll be better if I stop write about my thoughts.

So today I was in the city center again. Again with Dżemorel (Yeah, I won't stop hauting you^^). We ate a pizza. To remember: "If in menu is written "Pizza Max", this pizza will be realy big".Is it an another thought? Maybe, but I prefer my less smart part of mind...

I would write something more, but I don't know what I can write. Terrible... Maybe I'll do another blog about "everything"... This time in Polish...
Songs for today are Hello Operator and Sittin' On Top Of The World.
Why?
I don't know. Maybe 'cause I like them :3

It's the end of the world as we know it

HEEEY...
Today I was coming back to Katowice. Yes, "was coming". It was a long action. The car of my mum has broke down. On road 44 near Bieruń. You probably don't know where is "road 44 near Bieruń", but it isn't near any car workshop. I was standing on the roadside for few hours. I said something about Winter, right? So standing on the "Roadside of Road 44 Near Bieruń When There's Very Cold" is not a pleasure. I felt like a Loser. And with song with name like that I'm ending the first part of this post...

 

...

... And this is the optimistic part. It's a very short part, because I don't know what to write here. Now I'm happy, but I don't know why I am happy. So maybe I'm not happy? But I am!

So complicated... But I can insert an optimistic song here :3

 

Oh, and special thanks to Oria-  you're the first (and the only one) observer of this blog :3